2008 ME awards.

I deserve an award! Okay, maybe not, but then again, if I can't get any, I can at least give 'em.

So in recognition of the good, the not so good and the downright ugly, here goes the winners of my very own (spelt ME) awards.

Enjoy…or warreva.

Movies

Worst Movie: Meet the Spartans (what on earth were they thinking?).

Second Best: Juno (flows like a string of short, funny commercials).

Best movie: Quantum of Solace (Yeah, I said it. What?).

Food

Worst Meal/Snack: Mosa (It's the one made with plantain, right?).

Second Best: Chinese at Big Treat (You gotta love the steaming plate).

Best Meal Snack: ọtọ (it's an Abiriba delicacy made with cocoyam – or is it wateryam?).

Drink

Worst Drink: Mango Tango (NEVER EVER try it! – something tells me you will).

Second Best: Power Horse (Dunno, kinda like it).

Best Drink: A mixture of all citrus juices (Look, it's my list!).

Music

Worst Song: I don't even know the title, but it's something by Ashanti. (Arrrrrrrgh!).

Second Best: "Hustle" by M.I (Yes, the brova's som'n).

Best Song: "Nwa Aba" by Fuff Con (I no send you. Aba boys are doing some good stuff).

Moment

Worst Moment: Having to stand my own ground (it was me against the family. You understand na).

Second Best: Seeing my home boy get married last week (oh, and it was in Aba).

Best Moment: When she lit up like a Christmas tree (anything for you, love).

Fashion

Worst Kit/Accessory: The Mohawk (what the heck is that?! – and yeah, it's not a fashion accessory, but I gotta put it somewhere, right?)

Second Best: A good watch (Like anything silver, a good watch highlights the black skin in a shade yet to be crystallised – beautiful).

Best Accessory: Sneakers (Take me anywhere baby!)

Toy

Worst Toy: My phone's Bluetooth headset (If no be sey na me use my money buy am ehn, I for don smash am for wall!)

Second Best: My lapi (if I no mention am now, e fit crash...so here's to you, laptop!).

Best Toy: My LG Home theatre system (just got it, so e still dey shack me).

Person

Most Difficult Person: Popsi (then again, you don't choose your family, do you?).

Second Best: My mad boss (I shall not mention names. If you be my boss, and if you mad, na you).

Best Person: House (c'mon, who's better than the mad doctor himself?).

Favorite Blog Post

By another blogger: Shine – the seven year itch (what can I say? It's a good one. I enjoyed reading it).

Written by me: To each guy his own penis (make I blow my own trumpet na).

Lesson/Skill

Worst Lesson/Skill: What to do when you have a heart attack (no real life situation, so how do I know it works?).

Second Best: How to open a bottle of wine without an opener (caution: will work for only some bottles).

Best Lesson/Skill: Some things, you can only do alone (trust me; your life will depend on it).

Now, I tag YOU (yes, you)! Who wins your own award? Go on...

Finally, I breath!

Okay, so when t comes to politics, i I get all wired up. I'll start talking ideology, governmental style, the involvement of the youth, as well as my own political ambition (yeah people, in the near future, I'll be asking y'all to vote for me).

I love politics. As cliche as it may sound, I believe in the politics of service and not of money and looting, and so help me God, I will bring about a change n Nigeria. I've always known that our children will study me in school (LOL). Tall ambition ab?

Well, we go see.

Anyways, so I started a different blog (it was my first blogging experiment actually, but I abandoned it about two-ish years ago, but now i've started again) to rave and rant and generally discuss about my views on Nigerian politics.

This week, I bring you "madness, what madness? THIS IS NIGERIA!", a.k.a., the Nigerian Alliance.

Hope you enjoy it.

How she move

She moved like she was on fire, fuelled by the beguiling rhythm of deep desire. And even though I tried to move along with her, I was stuck – mesmerized more like – to my place. I could only move my head. Even then, I did so cautiously, knowing that my head could not fully capture the essence of the spirit that poured forth through every rhythmic beat, every drop of sweat, every gasp and every humid release of air.

 

I remained stuck to my place.

 

Though the lights were off, she stood in the limelight. As her voice echoed through every inch of the orifice that was my ear, I felt a slight tremble as we became one. Her story became my story; her pain, my anguish; her laughter, my joy; and her tremor, my earthquake. At that moment, we were one.

 

We continued the secret dance that was ours, oblivious of the presence of any other in the room. Truth be told, we cared less. The world be damned. This was our time. Enthralled and totally vanquished by her, I let myself float in to her world.

 

I saw life through her eyes.

 

She didn't need to talk anymore. Just a smile, a glance, a subtle tilting of the head was all I needed to read the deep thoughts that ran through her mind. At that point, we were one.

 

As she dismounted, a pained smile danced across my face. She was good. Compelling. Deep. Persuasive. She was gone.

 

As the lights came one and all the actors took their bow, I was glad I had seen the stage play, SARAFINA. The actors were good, but the lead actress was – well, just too good.

 

Kudos to our South African brothers for a story so deep and moving, it should be called the African story. Kudos to the lead actress, Sarafina.

To each guy his own penis...

To each guy his own penis;
To every girl, her pair.
This is not a post about sex,
Now why on earth would I go there?
Freaksho’s already done it; Aloofar’s shown off his dicks,
Nothing compared, I tell you, to blogsville’s crazy chicks.
Now to the matter at hand,
Shall we get ahead?
Something dey vex me and
My head is in a bend.

Why people too dey compare,
Why can’t we be content?
Some people too dey show themselves,
Others dey pretend
Sey dem no be who dey be,
Or sey dem hol’ too much
Others too dey yarn dia size,
Like sey e go win dem prize.

Ehen, does size really matter?
Is it guaranteed to please her?
Is it having sex or making love?
Don’t ask me, ask ibiluv!

I don’t have an opinion on everything,
So you can’t sue me.
I’m just rattling off some random thoughts;
E get as e dey do me.