I deserve an award! Okay, maybe not, but then again, if I can't get any, I can at least give 'em.
So in recognition of the good, the not so good and the downright ugly, here goes the winners of my very own (spelt ME) awards.
Worst Movie: Meet the Spartans (what on earth were they thinking?).
Second Best: Juno (flows like a string of short, funny commercials).
Best movie: Quantum of Solace (Yeah, I said it. What?).
Worst Meal/Snack: Mosa (It's the one made with plantain, right?).
Second Best: Chinese at Big Treat (You gotta love the steaming plate).
Best Meal Snack: ọtọ (it's an Abiriba delicacy made with cocoyam – or is it wateryam?).
Worst Drink: Mango Tango (NEVER EVER try it! – something tells me you will).
Second Best: Power Horse (Dunno, kinda like it).
Best Drink: A mixture of all citrus juices (Look, it's my list!).
Worst Song: I don't even know the title, but it's something by Ashanti. (Arrrrrrrgh!).
Second Best: "Hustle" by M.I (Yes, the brova's som'n).
Best Song: "Nwa Aba" by Fuff Con (I no send you. Aba boys are doing some good stuff).
Worst Moment: Having to stand my own ground (it was me against the family. You understand na).
Second Best: Seeing my home boy get married last week (oh, and it was in Aba).
Best Moment: When she lit up like a Christmas tree (anything for you, love).
Worst Kit/Accessory: The Mohawk (what the heck is that?! – and yeah, it's not a fashion accessory, but I gotta put it somewhere, right?)
Second Best: A good watch (Like anything silver, a good watch highlights the black skin in a shade yet to be crystallised – beautiful).
Best Accessory: Sneakers (Take me anywhere baby!)
Worst Toy: My phone's Bluetooth headset (If no be sey na me use my money buy am ehn, I for don smash am for wall!)
Second Best: My lapi (if I no mention am now, e fit crash...so here's to you, laptop!).
Best Toy: My LG Home theatre system (just got it, so e still dey shack me).
Most Difficult Person: Popsi (then again, you don't choose your family, do you?).
Second Best: My mad boss (I shall not mention names. If you be my boss, and if you mad, na you).
Best Person: House (c'mon, who's better than the mad doctor himself?).
Favorite Blog Post
By another blogger: Shine – the seven year itch (what can I say? It's a good one. I enjoyed reading it).
Written by me: To each guy his own penis (make I blow my own trumpet na).
Worst Lesson/Skill: What to do when you have a heart attack (no real life situation, so how do I know it works?).
Second Best: How to open a bottle of wine without an opener (caution: will work for only some bottles).
Best Lesson/Skill: Some things, you can only do alone (trust me; your life will depend on it).
Now, I tag YOU (yes, you)! Who wins your own award? Go on...